


For To Get Out Of The Rain

by LollyHolly99



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, Noah's Ark, Other, Post-Scene: Flood in Mesopotamia 3004 BC (Good Omens), Smut, Top Crowley (Good Omens), Vaginal Sex, that thing where your pet walks in while sex is happening but it's with a now-mythical creature, the last unicorn (the creature not the movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:28:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LollyHolly99/pseuds/LollyHolly99
Summary: "I thought you said this whole flooding business was about drowning all the wicked people. All the sinners and evil people and what-have-you. That is what you said, isn't it?"Aziraphale nodded in response to Crawly's question. "That is indeed what I was told.""Right, yes. So, what I'm wondering is... why'd you invite me aboard? I'm a demon, I'm supposed to be as wicked as they come. Sort of defeats the purpose, I'd say."---Crawly and Aziraphale go at it on The Ark, and a certain unicorn is quite the annoyance. My piece for the second volume of the Love And Lust Through The Ages zine!
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 70
Collections: Love and Lust Through the Ages Volume II, Top Crowley Library





	For To Get Out Of The Rain

"I thought you said this whole flooding business was about drowning all the wicked people. All the sinners and evil people and what-have-you. That _is_ what you said, isn't it?"

Aziraphale nodded in response to Crawly's question. "That is indeed what I was told."

"Right, yes. So, what I'm wondering is... why'd you invite _me_ aboard? I'm a _demon_ , I'm supposed to be as wicked as they come. Sort of defeats the purpose, I'd say."

The angel and the demon had been lounging on a sizable pile of straw with a large sheet of cloth thrown atop it that was _just_ this side of comfortable, deep in the lower levels of the Ark, for perhaps a few hours since everyone had boarded and the great flood began. It was a tad dark, and the waves made the vessel rock uncomfortably every so often, but it was certainly preferable to what was going on outside.

"Well, ah..." Aziraphale said, avoiding Crawly's gaze. "You see, as an angel, I should extend a benevolent hand to as many of the Almighty's creations as I can..."

"Even one like me?"

"I... um... you _were_ helping lead the unicorn aboard - Noah and his family certainly would've found it suspicious if I tried to turn you away-"

"And you're sure it wasn't just because you wanted some company?"

Aziraphale paused, silenced for a moment by the accusation, then sighed. " _Oh_... well, yes, I'll admit, the humans aren't much for conversation on here. There's only so long you can talk about animal caretaking and God's will before it starts to get a bit tiring."

"I can imagine." Crawly said with a smirk. "Yeah, I know _I_ wouldn't want to be stuck only being able to chat to _them_ for... wait, how long is this meant to last, anyway?"

"The flood? I'm not certain, really." Aziraphale responded. "I've heard rumour from upstairs that it might be forty days, but I've also heard that it could be as long as one hundred and fifty. Possibly a whole year."

" _A year?!_ "

"Yes, it does seem a bit daunting. But in any of those cases, I suppose it's ample time to, um, fulfill the goals of this whole ordeal."

"What, enough time to drown everybody?"

"...Yes, that."

"Hmm. Yeah, I suppose so." 

"Personally, I'm just wondering how we're going to pass the time."

Crawly perked up as he listened to the angel continue to speak, an idea forming in his mind.

"We - or, um, I, depending on whether you'd want to join in - I might be able to lend a helping hand with taking care of the animals, and such," Aziraphale continued. "But it's not exactly going to fill _all_ the spare time we're going to have on our hands."

Crawly looked Aziraphale up and down with interest. "I can think of ways to spend that time." 

"Ways?" Aziraphale could practically feel the demon's amber eyes on him - but he didn't falter under that gaze. "What sort of ways?"

"You remember Eden, yeah?" Crawly answered vaguely, and crept his way closer to Aziraphale. "We were lain in that patch of flowers, and I'd been wondering what that thing was that the humans had been doing... It was right before Eve's belly started swelling up."

A nonplussed look plastered itself on Aziraphale's face as Crawly began to lean over the angel and smiled. It wasn't a wicked smile, despite what should've resulted from his nature. 

"...And, you know... then we gave it a go. There in those flowers."

Aziraphale was slightly hesitant, but not opposed to their newfound positions, and responded after a moment. "Crawly, you're not suggesting we have sex for potentially upwards of forty days straight in here, are you?"

"Oh, Satan, no, I didn't mean spend _all_ the time that way!" Crawly answered. "This corporation has its limits, you know, even with the help of miracles. No, just some of it. When we get bored, or whatever."

"Right." Aziraphale nodded.

The pair were quiet for a moment as the angel took in the proposition, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

"So, the way you suggested it, it seemed as though, um... is that to say you're... bored? Are you... _bored_ right now, Crawly?"

Crawly thought. He thought about Aziraphale's question, about the thousand years since they'd fallen into that flower patch together. About how - for lack of a more accurately powerful word - pretty Aziraphale looked lain down on the straw beneath him right now, even under the minimal light in those lower levels.

"Mh-" he stuttered. He hadn't planned all that well for Aziraphale not shooting down the idea. "Yeah. Massively bored, really."

"Ah. Right. Well, um," Aziraphale's bright blue eyes darted up and down the demon's body as he spoke. "I suppose I might be a bit _bored_ as well, now that you mention it."

Crawly swallowed thickly. "Yeah?"

"Yes, um... your presence, and you being like this," Aziraphale gestured to his companion, still above him. "It's put me in quite a _bored_ mood."

"Uh... yeah, same with you."

The angel chuckled. "You know, I think at some point we should try broaching this subject in a normal manner."

And the demon gave a laugh in turn. "That'd require us to be _normal_. I'm not really sure that's our thing."

"Hm. Very true."

"So, uh... how do you wanna... y'know...?"

"Surprising that a _demon_ would be asking that sort of question. I would've thought you'd just take me in any way you please." Aziraphale teased. "Which, um... is what I _was_ thinking. As you please. Take the reins as you will."

There was only a second's hesitation from Crawly before he leaned down and captured his companion in a kiss. Aziraphale let out a small gasp into his mouth as he did, and moved his hands to Crawly's shoulders to brace himself, while letting his legs fall apart a little. One of Crawly's own hands reached down to ruck up Aziraphale's robes, then searched insistently for and cupped his sex.

"Like Eve today, eh?" Crawly asked, finding soft folds and feeling a wetness at his fingertips.

"Mmh, I do so like how this one feels..." Aziraphale sighed at the touch. " _That_ , and you already obviously seemed to have the, ah, _corresponding_ parts, shall we say, so I thought I might as well go with this."

Crawly didn't miss the slight glance downwards that Aziraphale gave as he mentioned the demon's 'corresponding parts', and followed his eyes down with his own - the angel was right, it was fairly obvious, even in his loose black robes, what he was sporting at this point.

"Perfect." he smirked. "Looks like this'll all work out well, then."

With two long, gentle fingers, Crawly gathered some slick dripping from Aziraphale's quim, and rubbed at the angel's clit, making him twitch at the contact.

" _Oh... Crawly..._ " Aziraphale couldn't help but softly moan.

"Good, angel?"

"Lovely," he answered, and kissed Crawly again. "But more, please."

As per the angel's request, Crawly took his circling fingers and pressed inside, leaving his thumb to do the work outside. Aziraphale let his head fall back, gasped softly, and squirmed under the demon's touch.

Crawly took the chance he'd been given, and leaned down to kiss and nip and suck at the previously unmarred skin of Aziraphale's neck, newly exposed, as he pumped his fingers in and out and worked his partner over. 

Now, Crawly had said he didn't intend to try and fuck his angelic companion for the entirety of this watery trip... but _good word_ , he could do _this_ for however long it lasted, be it as short as forty days or as long as a year. The moans that spilled from Aziraphale with every curl and scissor of Crawly's deft fingers were damn near addictive to the demon, and he drank in every one of them eagerly. And Aziraphale was wonderfully soft and warm - such a contrast to the vessel they were on, cold from the surrounding storm and all hard wood.

" _Ah_ -" Aziraphale gasped, momentarily gripping Crawly's shoulders tighter. "Please, more - I'm ready, I need _you_."

Crawly was all too happy to comply, realising just how insistent his own effort had gotten. He shoved his own robes up around his waist with one hand and removed the other from between Aziraphale's legs, taking himself in hand and slicking his member up with what he'd collected in long, slow strokes. And then he lined himself up, and slowly pushed inside of the angel.

With a loud groan, he sank inside the tight heat before him, as deeply as possible. Louder still, though, was Aziraphale, his moans unrestrained and full of lust.

" _Ohh... oh, Crawly, oh my, ohh-_ oh! Hello there!"

Aziraphale's sudden interruption of himself and his cheery tone caught the demon quite off-guard, and he looked off in the direction that Aziraphale was now looking towards with widened eyes and a bright smile.

The unicorn, the one he'd ushered aboard earlier, was standing in the doorway, having wandered on down from wherever it had been on the Ark beforehand.

"Oi!" Crawly said, scowling. "Shoo, you pointy bastard, give us some privacy!"

"Oh, come, now, Crawly, it's doing no harm. Come on, let's keep going."

"Oh, _no_ , no, no, I _cannot_ do this while that thing's in here, just... _watching_."

Aziraphale cocked a brow for a moment. "Watching? Oh, do relax, my dear, it's an _animal_. It doesn't care what's happening. It probably doesn't even know, for that matter. Now, let's continue."

And continue he did, albeit continuing to grumble under his breath about the intruder as he slowly withdrew and thrust back into his partner.

Aziraphale was having none of it, however. Not the grumbling, not the lack of concentration, and certainly none of the demon's continuous glances back at the entrance to the room. So he took action, and wrapped his legs around Crawly's waist.

"Forget about the darned animal, Crawly - look at me instead. Focus on me. Focus on how- _mmh_ , how _marvelous_ this feels."

Crawly sighed, and looked back at Aziraphale with a slight smile. "Right. Yeah, okay, alright."

With that, the demon began to roll his hips, properly this time, his attentions on Aziraphale, and kissed him like he was starving for it. Each thrust dragged a new wonderful sound from the angel's lips, muffled by the kiss just as much as Crawly's own groans.

Neither of them were quieted so much, however, that either of them could properly hear the sound of hooves on wood growing closer, until it was right next to them.

It was Aziraphale who noticed first, lost in the haze of pleasure but still right-minded enough to open his eyes halfway and calmly pet the creature. He was as mindful of its horn as he could be, but didn't shy away at all from feeling its soft, luxurious mane.

And then, it was the way that Aziraphale chuckled and smiled against his lips that tipped Crawly off to the creature's presence.

" _Oh, for the love of-_ " Crawly exclaimed. He paused in his movements, and attempted to shoo the unicorn away again. "Piss off, you, we're busy!"

It ignored the demon, though, in favour of more petting from the angel. It didn't seem to be going anywhere.

Aziraphale sighed as his stream of thought ran elsewhere for a minute. "Oh, I do wish we'd went and gotten the other one back after it ran off. This one... when she dies, that's it for the unicorns. No more of them, ever."

"Please, angel." Crawly begged, exasperated. "Please don't make me think about dead equines during sex."

"Ah. Sorry about that." Aziraphale let out another chuckle, and put his arm back around Crawly's neck. The unicorn stepped back once it stopped receiving attention, but it didn't look like it was leaving the room any time soon. "Keep going, I promise I won't do that again."

Crawly smirked. "Sure you don't want to take a break to go play with your new pet instead of me?"

"Quite sure."

"Positive?"

"Crawly, shush, and just... _take_ me, for- for Heaven's sake!"

Aziraphale's sudden insistence, while said with a smile, was a bit of a surprise for Crawly - but not enough to keep him distracted for too long. With renewed vigour, he picked up his pace again, pounding his hips against the angel's with each thrust.

"' _Forget about it_ ', he says... mmnh..." Crawly teased. "' _Focus on me, forget the animal_ '. How am I supposed to forget it when you keep acknowledging it, eh?"

Aziraphale didn't get much of a chance to respond to the question, with Crawly seeing to him too thoroughly for him to form words instead of unintelligible half-words between moans. That was alright, though - Crawly wasn't really looking for an answer, and he much preferred this to one.

It wasn't long before Aziraphale, already on the brink despite the continued distractions, began clenching tighter around the demonic cock inside him.

"Crawly, ah-!" he panted desperately. "I...I'm- going to- _ahh_...!"

The demon was just as far gone, and gave a strained hum of affirmation, letting Aziraphale know that he, too, was reaching his climax. After that, it only took a handful of forceful thrusts and a crash of someone's lips against the other's - though who had initiated the kiss, neither of them could quite tell - to push them both over the edge.

Crawly came first, releasing deep inside Aziraphale with one more growling groan and triggering the angel's own orgasm in turn. Aziraphale trembled and cried out his companion's name as it hit him, and gripped at Crawly's robes tightly with clenched fists.

The air of the room filled with the noises of the pair's heavy breathing as they came down from their respective highs, and went boneless in eachother's arms a few moments later. Crawly then slowly slipped himself out of Aziraphale, which drew out sighs from the both of them, with Crawly's (by this point, rather sensitive) cock once again exposed to the relative cool of the air, and Aziraphale being so suddenly _not_ filled.

It took another short moment, but eventually Aziraphale, properly back down on Earth once more, raised a slightly shaky hand and snapped his fingers, miracling away the mess of his wetness and Crawly's seed leaking from between his legs. He took a second to savour the feeling of it, of course, but decided to get rid of it before it could stain the makeshift bed beneath them.

"Just doing away with it like that this time, are we?" Crawly teased.

"If _you_ want to head upstairs and risk having to give an explanation for why we would need to borrow some sort of rag or something from Noah and company and likely not be able to bring it back to them for the forseeable future, be my guest, but _I'd_ certainly rather not." Aziraphale chuckled. "And this makes it rather a lot easier than that method, doesn't it?"

Crawly gave a smirk. "I have a _mouth_ , you know."

"Ah. I hadn't considered that. Next time, perhaps."

"Promise?"

"We'll see." Aziraphale said, and brushed a hand through Crawly's fiery hair.

Crawly then shuffled up further, and cuddled up closer to the angel as though his body wasn't already pressed against him. Limbs ended up tangled in eachother, kisses were shared, and golden eyes fell shut.

"Taking a nap now, are we, dear?" Aziraphale asked, gazing at the peaceful-looking demon. "Very understandable, if so."

"Nah, just closing my eyes for a bit." Crawly answered. "You're comfy as always."

"Ah, well that's good to kn- oh! Our friend's back!"

When Crawly opened his eyes again a second later, he was greeted by... _oh_ , it was the _bloody unicorn again_ , right in his face.

" _What_ did I say?" he hissed at it, trying in vain to gently push it away by its muzzle.

"I think she's rather dead-set on staying here for the moment, from the looks of it. Come on, now, leave her be - she's not causing any trouble."

Aziraphale seemed to be right. The unicorn had stepped back a few steps, and, while its presence was a little uncomfortable, it had stopped interfering with the pair directly, and was just... standing there in the room again.

Crawly, too busy with his arms wrapped around his companion to give shoving it out of the room a proper effort, gave a quick sneer and closed his eyes again. "Alright, _fine_ , she can stay for now. Long as she stops sticking her face everywhere."

It was then, with such perfect timing to draw forth Crawly's deepest ire, that the unicorn moved from its spot once more, and... finally left the room. Back out the door it went, back to wherever it had come from. The demon had re-opened his eyes upon hearing the clip-clop of hooves on wood again, and blinked in sheer astonishment at the animal's thought process (or, from what he guessed, the lack thereof).

"You have _got_ to be kidding me." he said flatly.

Aziraphale gave a little laugh. "Well, at least she's gone now."

"Yeah, but _now_? She chooses _now_ of all times? Honestly." Crawly said with an exhausted sigh. "Y'know what? Pets walking in on occasions like this? I'm stealing that idea.

Gonna plant that little seed of annoyingness into the minds and genes and whatever of all the soon-to-be-domesticated animals on this thing. Their offspring'll cause widespread mild grievance with their masters for generations to come."

"All of them?"

"Hmm... the dogs and cats, mostly, I think."

"Ah. Well, that's not so bad. So long as you stick to those and not, say... the elephants and the giraffes as well, or some such. I'd think those creatures walking in would cause quite a bit more property damage than is usually your style."

"Mm, yeah..." Crawly said, and closed his eyes again. "Hey, you know something?"

"Hm? What?"

"Whoever said unicorns could only be tamed by virgins was obviously full of it, apparently."

Aziraphale smiled amusedly, and let his eyes fall shut, same as his companion.

"Quite right, dear, quite right."

**Author's Note:**

> Check out the Love And Lust Through The Ages zine (both volumes 1 and 2) [here](https://azfells.bigcartel.com/)!
> 
> [And say hi to me on tumblr here!](https://lollyholly99.tumblr.com/)


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